So much going on....

I haven't wrote a blog in a few weeks! So here goes ALOT or rambling, and emotions!!! 

I was FINALLY prescribed medication on June 2nd. I was given Letrozole, or Femara as name brand! She prescribed me 5mg, to take for cycle days 3-7....

This was the first time in a long time that I felt hopeful!! I had read so many blogs, and reviews, etc on people ovulating, AND conceiving on their very first round of Letrozole, even after many failed IUI's, and IVF's, and rounds of clomid, etc!! I felt so happy, and felt like it was finally happening, and coming together...I did not have any negative in my mind at all!! When I was meeting with my therapist, I wouldn't even say the words "I know it MAY not happen the first round" because I wanted NO negative thoughts in my mind at all!! I was 100% positive, this was OUR time, and everything was FINALLY coming together!!! 

First, I am just going to tell a story....
So, I leave Kaiser, so happy to have my medication, and drive to walmart to buy my OPK's....

I also bought a little pouch of TGI friday mudslide, the little $2 ones you freeze....As I was at the register, the cashier asks me for my ID, and then looks down to my bag, that already had the OPK's in it, then back up and me, then to the alcohol...And this is how it goes...
Her:"Wow, alcohol and pregnancy tests, huh?!" 
Me "No, they are ovulation tests!" 
Her: "Oh, so you want one?" 
Me: Yes, I do. 
Her: "Oh there are too many kids in this world" 
Me: Well, they make it so hard for those who can't have kids to adopt, so.." 

And she can tell in my voice I am FURIOUS! She tries to turn it around and say 

"Well, I wish you well in whatever you decide to do."

Really lady?!?!! I am not one to complain about service, ever!! I went outside, called the store, and asked the manager to come outside and talk to me, and I let him have a little piece of my mind about the cashier!! He said he would have a talk with her. Me working customer service, I cannot just tell some sneaker head that didn't get the newest Jordan release because our site crashed "Dude, chill out, they are just shoes!!" No matter how much I want to, I am in the customer service business, and have to be professional!!

I have not been back since then!! 

And then came the wait from cycle day 7-11 until I start using OPK's for CD11-20... (CD means cycle day, for all of you who may not know)

Well, finally CD11 came, and went, and then every morning, pee in a cup, take the test, wait for result....no smiley face!! :( Well, on CD22, I went in for my progesterone test....I hate doing that, they can never find my vein, and it is just frustrating!! 

Well, I had no side effects, whatsoever...which was a good thing....

Well, I just got my results, and the level for my progesterone is .1!! Yes, POINT ONE!! The lowest it has been over the past 5 months of testing!! Talk about discouraging!! 

I am waiting on pins and needles to hear back from my Dr, to see if she is going to up my dosage, or what we are going to do!! I really hate needles,but I think I really want to do the trigger shot, and injectables, or whatever we need to do!!! 

I was going to cancel my therapy appointments, as I was in a better place....Or so I thought!!  Until all of this recent news!! It just throws me back to the same place I was to begin with, and I hate it, I wish things were different, I wish I could be mentally stronger, and more stable about this!! Its small things that break me down! One day I will be fine, and the next I am just not dealing with it well.

Tomorrow is my therapy, and I am hoping to feel a little better....I just gotta keep the goal in mind, and try to be positive, but everyone that is pregnant on my Facebook is having their babies, and/or due within the next month to 6 weeks!! Its driving me crazy!!! 

But, my sister sends me video's of my niece when I am having a bad day! She truly brightens my day, and makes me almost forget about everything!! <3 

Finally getting somewhere!!!

Well.... 

Tomorrow is the day......

The day I have been waiting for, for what seems like forever!!! 


I FINALLY get prescribed medication to help me ovulate!!!! 

The medication I am being prescribed which is Letrozole, also known as Femara is actually for breast cancer in women after menopause...Which kinda has me freaked out.....But I have read, and heard SOO many success stories about it!! And it makes it sooo hard not to get my hopes up when I read that people have been TTC for years, and on their first cycle of Letrozole, they conceive!! I know this isn't a typical result, but oh my gosh!! I can't help but get my hopes up!! I wouldn't have my hopes so high, if there were other complications going on!! But, my husbands SA is nearly PERFECT!! My tubes, and uterus are just how they should be, and the ONLY problem we got going right now, is that I am not ovulating every month...Some months, yes....But mainly not....

Womp wompppp!!! D:

But I am superrr hopeful, but I have also been a nervous wreck!! I was down the 10lbs on Friday morning, and well, I have been still eating super healthy, going on daily walks, and my weight has been going up and down, so I am VERY nervous for tomorrow, and stressed!!! 

And I am super bloated, and miss aunt flow decided to visit me yesterday, obviously bad timing, but glad she held off long enough for me to shed the 10lbs, so I don't have to wait a whole nother cycle before medication!! 

I really hope my Dr, doesn't try to hassle me for the last POUND!! I have been walking AT LEAST a mile every single day, and even jogging a little more each day during my walk!! 


This all feels so surreal right now, that I can't even explain how happy I am!! I get really emotional when I think about it.....I am really, finally, getting on the medication!! It is so hard to believe, that it almost seems to good to be true!! 

I also cannot believe how many people we have supporting, praying, and rooting for us!! That in itself is overwhelming!! I feel truly blessed, and just one thing missing!! <3 

Also, I have to admit......


I bought my first baby item a week or so ago....It is the most cutest outfit, and I love owls, and I just had to have it!! I saw it a couple months ago at Fred Meyer, for $20, my husband thought I was crazy, because we obviously don't know whether it will be a boy or a girl, but I had to have it!! I wanted it badly, but I didn't get it!! Well, we were there, and I went to the baby section, of course, and was looking for that one specifically...Well, they had ONE left, literally!! In size 0-3, which obviously would be the ideal size to buy something in!!! And it was marked down to $10!! I really had to get it this time!! I told my husband, I don't care if you think I am crazy, I have to get this!!! So, it has been hanging in my closet, and I use it as a motivation! I am not going crazy, and buying tons of stuff, this is the only item. I have, and plan on having! Until we are actually pregnant, of course!! Its super cute, right?!?! And on the sides of the little shoes are a super cute flower! I am in love!!