Could it be??

Since my last post, I have gotten so much good news, I feel so wonderful!!!

I took my Letrozole from CD3-7, and started my OPK's on CD 11. I bought some cheapies from Ebay, because I was going to be testing twice a day, all the way until CD35, or so, trying to get a positive OPK! And well $36 for 20 clear blue tests is just spendy to be doing twice a day, for that long of a period!!

So, they arrived in 2 days, and I was so thrilled!! I started testing with the cheapies, and did not get any type of line, then tested a couple more days, and then one morning, I said to myself....I need to do a clear blue today. They are obviously much easier to read, as it will be a smiley face, or no smiley face! 

It was CD15....So after I wake up, I go to the bathroom, pee in my cup, dip the stick, same routine....Wait around while it is flashing, and loading the results....

Then BAM....Smiley face appears!!!! It was like an instant magnet to my face!! I swear I was smiling ear to ear!! I was beyond excited!!!

I go into the living room, where my husband is watching TV, hand him the test with a ridiculously big smile on my face. He doesn't quite get it at first, then realizes, and gives me a big smile, and tells me congratulations baby. I said babe......we HAVE to do it!! I don't care if I am late to work!! And well then, I'm sure you know where it went from there!! And, I certainly was late for work!! Oops. ;) But I have never, and will never put work before starting my family! 

That was last Wednesday. July 23rd. It was a great day! I have since been feeling flutter feelings near my uterus, almost like a muscle moving, or a sensation, I am not sure what it is, or how to explain it!! I have also been having some cramping from my ovary! Yay, my ovaries are actually working!!! I am just so happy that I am functioning this cycle!! I have never felt any of these feelings, and I KNOW that is a good thing!! 

I also realized I missed my therapist appointment...It has been 5 or 6 weeks since I have seen her. Some days are a little hard, but I think I am really really at a good point! I didn't even notice I missed my appoint until like 2 weeks after I missed it!! That makes me feel good that I am not needing that right now at this point!! 

So, fast forward to today!! 1 week after my positive OPK....Progesterone test day.......The day I love, but the day I dread! I have really horrible veins!! They can either not tell which direction it is going, or can't feel it, or are just not very smart!! So today I get off work super early, at 7am..The lab opens at 8...I can go and wait until they open, and be one of the first ones they see...But then I decided that wont be the best idea, as I don't want to be the first one they see, since I have horrible veins as it is, I want to make sure they are FULLY awake before poking me....May seem kinda silly, but its true!! I know how I am when I take my first couple phone calls of the morning. ;) 

I decided to go wash my car, and kill some time...I go in and sit in the chair, she feels around on one arm, doesn't feel much, then goes to the other arm, doesn't feel much, and then goes back to the first arm.....She was attempting to feel the top of my hand...no no no. That is a no touch zone. I tell her which vein they get it from, if they can't get it from the preferred vein...She then proceeds to get it from the one I told her. Man, I really hate needles!! And it was like this time, she was not holding it right, and it took FOREVER to take the blood out, it was horrible. Maybe I am just over exaggerating, but ugh!! 

So this was about 9:45am this morning. I anxiously waited until 4:30pm to call about my results....The results were in.....

(Insert drum roll here)

My progesterone level is 13.4!!! Can you believe that?!?! 13.4!!!! I was smiling ear to ear!! I said thank you, with the most happy, giddy tone, and the nurse on the other end could DEFINITELY hear how happy I was!! So then I tell my husband, He gives me a nice firm hug, with a kiss, and rubs my belly! <3 Gosh I love that man!! I cannot wait until I am pregnant, because I really love how he has been rubbing my belly! 

I truly feel this is our time. I am anxiously waiting one more week to take a pregnancy test!! Please, Please, everyone keep praying for us, and keep us in your most happy thoughts!! 

I have been eating MUCH healthier, and going on walks, and just in a much better mood, and feeling very hopeful, and positive!! I feel this is the time. This is the cycle. It is our turn now! :) 

Realizing things....

I am not blogging as much as I would like, but here is goes. Lots of random rambling once again! :)

Well, this was my second cycle on Femara (Letrozole), and first cycle on the higher dose of 7.5mg. I am currently on CD13, no smiley face OPK just yet....I am hopeful!!! I am hoping that 5 days of 3 little yellow pills will do the trick this time around!! Even if it doesn't end in a BFP (Big fat positive) I just want to know it is working, and making me ovulate!! Even though I have tattoos, I really do not like the idea of injecting myself with needles....I don't want to have to go that route, although I obviously will do whatever it takes, to achieve my goal of becoming a mom!!

   

Here is a pic of my final 3 pills on CD7....

A little goofy...but hopefully the last 3 little yellow pills I have to take....

The past few days have been a bit harder than other days....A friend of mine had her baby on Friday, and my cousin just had her baby today, and another friend had her baby almost 2 weeks ago, so it has just been back to back! Along with pregnancy announcements, gender announcements, and now a bunch of new baby posts, and pictures!! Its hard!! I am very happy for all of them, but gahhh!!! It makes things so much harder!!

But today, I realized....I really really REALLYYYY need to focus on the NOW and not worry and stress over things...It is really really hard, but I need to...no I HAVE to focus on the now!! I need to focus on my health, and on my marriage!! 

Tonight I went for a walk with my Dixie girl! It was a nice walk, and I forgot how nice it was to get out, and walk, listening to music in my ears!! The sun was setting, the temperature was perfect, I could feel my mood getting better!!

So, to motivate me even more...I have come up with this theory.....It may seem kind of silly, but I really think it is going to help me, and motivate me to walk every evening....

I am in love with sunsets, and love watching the colors develop as the sun sets...So, here is my theory.....

As the sun is setting, I am going to think of it as mine and my husbands future baby, smiling down on me, letting me know that my time is coming soon...And to not lose hope, because as the sun goes down, it only gets prettier!! Like just as we are going through a hard time, thinking it is not going to get better, and then things look up, and it gets better! Just like a sunset, the more the sun goes down, the prettier, and more beautiful it becomes! Here is the first night of sunsets which made me think of this theory! 

As the sun set tonight, it only got more and more amazing!! I will be taking pictures of the sunset every night....Call me crazy, but this picture just seems like a heart, with hands around it. Or like a mothers belly being held, definitely something that strikes me, and makes me feel very hopeful!

I just really want to say that I am so very thankful, and happy with all the continued support of my friends and family, and if you are reading this, then you truly are one of the ones I am talking about!! It means so much to me!! 

I especially want to thank my husband for being my strength, because I definitely could not do this without him!! We may not see each other due to our lovely opposite work schedules, but I know he is there for me, and loves me unconditionally, and I cannot wait to make him a dad, because I know he is going to be an amazing daddy!! <3