People don't understand it, and will never know the true pain, and heartache, unless they've experienced it themselves. Just when I think I'm okay, something happens, and my emotions get the best of me. Such as today, I was for feeling frustrated because I didn't have my test results, then I said its okay, I'm sure they are fine, then when I finally got them it was lower than its been in 2 months, and I just start crying, feeling defeated. We only have 4 cycles left to do iui, before we have to do IVF. That's 4 more tries that we get, and it may seem like a good amount, but when Steven and I have been together for over 6 years, and not once had a pregnancy scare....it scares me. IVF alone is over $10,000 each cycle, with insurance not covering a dime.
Why why why did my progesterone level have to be less than 10?!?!
Steven has been working 14 hour days, and now 6 days a week too!! Its hard enough to not see him before going to work in the morning, and only seeing him for less than 2 hours before he leaves for work, but now, he is working 6 days a week!!
Im an emotional mess. I also find it frustrating that when I am struggling emotionally, no one is there. I thought we had a lot of supporters, but I feel people are getting tired of hearing about things. I post stuff on my Facebook, when I am feeling down, and in need of a pick me up, and everyone ignores....I don't understand it.
I am just thankful for my husband, and for this little girl right here.
Sometimes it's hard to know what to say, especially when we haven't a clue as to what you are going through, and we don't want to say something to hurt your feelings. I feel horrible that I told my sister to relax and just let it happen, and then we found out her tunes are blocked because of a bad miscarriage she had a few years ago. I really hope you get to be a mommy one day
ReplyDelete